Ellen -
I, too, suffer from this same problem. My kids are waiting with baited breath to
get into my bread.
I take the internal temperature with an instant read thermometer. It should read
180 degrees. Also, you could tap the bottom of the loaf, and if it sounds hollow,
your bread should be done. This has worked pretty well for me. I've only had a
couple of recipes not be done when I've used this benchmark.
As far as cutting the bread when it's just warm - I know, but not exactly why
(something about cutting the gluten strands- someone help me out here) that you are
not supposed to cut bread until it is completely cool. Sometimes I do and it
slices no problem (depending on the recipe I'm making) and sometimes, it turns out
to be a crumbly mess.
I try to let it cool, but I know, sometimes, it's really really hard, isn't it?
Jill